5 Best Sex Position After Menopause: Give a Try!

Last updated 03.04.2024 | by Sabrina Johnson | 10 Minutes Read

This article has been reviewed and fact checked by Dr. Karen Pike, a senior physician administrator and board-certified emergency room doctor actively working in northern California. Read more at our medical disclaimer page.


Sex after menopause should be an absolute cakewalk, right? Since you have no worries about getting pregnant, fewer hassles of being interfered with by kids, and fewer family obligations.

The truth is that it’s not as easy as it sounds. I was in conversation with a woman in her 50s who had undergone menopause. She said that she couldn’t have imagined that menopause could make her sex life so messy. It’s true. More than 1/3rds of perimenopausal and postmenopausal women have trouble with their sex life.

Some complaint about losing interest in sex, while a few mention difficulties in having an orgasm. The role of hormones in menopause isn’t unknown, which comes in the way of a healthy sex life. It’s not just that. The average menopausal age is 51. By then, additional health problems will also be common in many women. With so much happening, your sex life is bound to go for a toss.

Has menopause affected your sex life? Or, do you want to know about the effects of menopause on sex? This is the perfect article for you. I have covered facts like the impact of menopause on sex. I have also enlightened you with tips on some of the best and most convenient sex postures to help you better. Read on to know more.

Why Does Menopause Affect Your Sex Life?

The hormonal changes, particularly a decline in the estrogen level, are responsible for lessened libido or sexual desire in women. If we were to understand the reasons behind the same, many of them exist. Increased estrogen levels help the vagina to remain thick, elastic, and lubricant.

When your vagina is in good shape, your sex drive will also be on the rise. Reduced estrogen levels make your vaginal walls dry, itchy, and inflamed. Women with vaginal dryness have often complained of soreness, burning sensation, and pain during sex. When this problem happens recurrently, one may eventually lose interest in sex.

Another thing to mention is urinary incontinence, which affects around 50% of menopausal women. Reduced estrogen levels weaken your bladder, losing its ability to hold urine for long. This triggers urinary incontinence. If you have a leaky bladder, concentrating on your sex life becomes a mammoth task. A woman I met at the doctor’s office once said, “Every time I try getting intimate, my urge to pee increases. It’s hampering my sex life big time.

When transitioning into menopause, around 80%, which means eight of ten women experience hot flashes. This takes a toll on one’s sleep. Frequent episodes of hot flashes often make women exhausted, reducing their energy and urge for sex. Hot flashes could last for a couple of years after menopause also, and the time frame varies from one woman to the other.

Those who frequently experience hot flashes may feel drained and go through a lessened sex drive. Let’s sum up some of the physical problems that could affect your sex life in menopause:

  • Lessened elasticity of your vaginal wall
  • Burning sensation, bleeding, or pain during sex
  • Recurrent infections of the urinary tract
  • Feelings of tightness during sexual intercourse
  • Decreased sex drive

Menopause affects one’s mental and emotional well-being also. Low estrogen levels lead to high cortisol (the stress hormone), which may trigger stress responses. Likewise, menopause often results in increased anxiety levels because of the several bodily changes that occur.

Studies showed that the mean cortisol levels increased around nine times during stressful periods. So, when stressed, concentrating on sex could become tedious. These are a few emotional changes in menopause that may often hinder your sex life. Some of them include:

  • Nervousness
  • Feelings of uncertainty
  • Irritability
  • Fatigue
  • Lessened concentration
  • Feelings of depression, sadness, loss or regret
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lessened sexual desire

Each woman will differ from the other regarding the physical and emotional changes in menopause. However, if the changes are intense and severe and interfere with your daily life, you shouldn’t delay consulting a doctor.h

Some of the Best Positions Women Could Try In Menopause

Some of the Best Positions Women Could Try In Menopause

It’s not that all women will lose interest in sex after menopause. Some will continue to enjoy sex even when they have transitioned into the post-menopause phase. However, the difference lies in that intercourse might not be the same as before.

You could experience roadblocks, mainly because of physical changes menopause may bring in. If sex still interests you, but you are in two minds because of the pain and discomfort you might go through, then. In such cases, you could try varied positions, which could be comforting enough. In fact, by changing your body or pelvis’ angle, sexual penetration gets easier. Here are some position tips that could be of help:

Sit On Top Of Your Partner

This posture is apt for women who experience pain in their vagina or cervix during sex. When you are on top of your partner, penetration could be kept at a point at which you are comfortable. Your partner may lie flat or sit by keeping their legs slightly bent. Many women like the seated posture, as it helps them get intimate with their partner, besides giving comfort.

Doggy Style

As the name suggests, you go on your fours, primarily hands and knees, while your partner penetrates his penis into your anus or vagina from behind. One aspect is that to do this style, you’ll need some arm strength. Using pillows underneath your elbows or stomach may help.

Missionary Position

The missionary position isn’t unknown, where the woman lies on her back and the man on top of her. My tip for you is the missionary position with a slight alteration. As you lie on the back, support your lower back with one or two pillows. When you do that, your pelvis gets raised, and insertion becomes easier.

Lie to Your Side

Lying on your side during sexual intercourse is a less strenuous position. It will work in both ways, facing your partner or having your back to them. You must bend your legs to some extent if the entry is from behind. When you have intense vaginal pain, staying in this posture could help in controlling how far your partner could penetrate.

Standing From the Back

You may lean over a chair as you stand or place your hands on the wall for support. Your partner stands behind you. In this posture, you could control the penetration and lessen the chances of intense sex and deep pain.

Some Tips to Make Your Sexual Life Better In Menopause 

Many might be apprehensive about sex after menopause. For some, it could be a matter of embarrassment due to age, while some don’t wish for any added hassle because of all the physical changes their body is going through. However, vaginal sex helps to stimulate your vaginal health by improving blood flow and keeping the muscles toned. Here are some tips for a better sex life after menopause.

  • Be transparent while talking to your partner about your thoughts on your sex life. Tell him the challenges you are facing. Let him know what’s comfortable to you and what isn’t. Together, you may plan out something that may benefit both.
  • Most women encounter challenges in sexual activities due to vaginal dryness. So, keep your vagina moist by lubricating it before intercourse. A warm bath before sex also provides immense relaxation. Avoid using scented detergents and perfumed soaps. They irritate the vagina and make sex more challenging.
  • If vaginal intercourse seems painful, try new techniques and postures. Increase foreplay and other activities that may stimulate sexual arousal. If you are anxious about the pain and discomfort you may experience during intercourse, try distraction techniques. These may include indulging in fantasies (erotic or non-erotic), watching videos, etc.
  • In your 50s, if you are finding ways for intimacy, vaginal intercourse isn’t the only option, especially if it is painful. You could resort to oral sex or genital stimulation, of course, after understanding the pros and cons of the same.
  • Pelvic floor exercises help to keep your bladder and bowel muscles strong and toned. Doing these exercises will help boost your sexual drive well. You could seek the assistance of a pelvic floor physiotherapist.
  • A workout session of around 20 minutes could increase sexual arousal to a great extent – by around 169%. This arousal doesn’t last long for women, though. So, if libido is a problem, you could try indulging in sexual pleasure with your partner soon after a workout.
  • When there isn’t any improvement in your sexual desires, and that’s affecting your marital life, you may seek a counselor’s or therapist’s advice.

FAQs

Do all women experience low sex drive in menopause?

No, it doesn’t happen with everyone. It varies from one woman to the other. Some mention experiencing an improvement in their sex drive after menopause. The reason is lessened anxiety regarding the fear of getting pregnant. Also, their responsibilities regarding their kids and family are reduced by that time. So they can enjoy more intimacy with their partner. However, for many, sex after menopause could be a stressful affair.

How to treat sexual problems in women after menopause?

If your lessened sex drive after menopause makes you distressed and upset and affects your daily life, you can consult a doctor. The treatment procedures vary according to the issues you are facing.

• If vaginal dryness and irritation seem bothersome, the doctor may try hormone therapy to boost your sex drive. The medications are available as tablets, rings, creams, or suppositories to be put in the vaginal tissues directly. This could help lessen dryness.
• If other conditions like high blood pressure, chronic depression, hot flashes, etc, are coming in the way of your sex drive, then the health care provider will address those problems at first. If that’s what was causing a low sex drive, it will improve once the concerns regarding your underlying health issues get resolved.

In what ways can a woman increase her sexual drive?

Exercising well and bringing alteration in lifestyle helps in improving sex drive. However, besides that, there are artificial ways of improving sex drive, sexual aids being one of them. Eros is one such sexual aid that one could attain through prescription.

The device contains a suction cup and a vacuum pump. The vacuum pump provides a gentle suction that helps to draw blood to the clitoris. The device has been effective in increasing orgasm in a woman, alongside enhancing vaginal lubrication and sensation. However, before using the same, consult your healthcare provider.

Conclusion

Sex after menopause can be a little challenging to some, but not impossible. Besides maintaining good physical health, a proper understanding with your partner will help make things easier. Always talk out your woes, as that would help immensely. Moreover, do not hesitate to seek medical help or a counselor’s advice if things get out of control.

Author

  • Sabrina Johnson

    Meet Sabrina Johnson, a compassionate author and a seasoned expert in Obstetrics and Gynecology. She is a driving force behind Simply Menopause, where her extensive medical knowledge and empathetic nature come together to empower women in their menopausal journey. Sabrina offers culturally sensitive guidance and support through her approachable writing, making her a trusted friend on the path to menopause wellness.